Slim Elwood noticed Willie Nelson’s face earlier than vivid lights flooded his imaginative and prescient.
“I let you know, I noticed Willie plain as day,” Slim stated from his hospital mattress. “I may make out his pigtails, his scruffy beard and that stars-and-stripes bandanna round his brow.”
“I didn’t say you didn’t see Willie Nelson. I’m simply attempting to place your expertise into perspective.” It was Horace “Barney” Moffit, Gopher Woods’ lone lawman, questioning Slim after his run-in with a 1986 Ford Ranger. The Ranger received the primary spherical however Slim figured to wash up with the insurance coverage settlement.
In the meantime, there was the matter of Willie Nelson showing to Slim. Barney stated he knew the reply.
“That pickup truck that ran you down on the nook of Maple and Elm had a ‘Willie Nelson for President’ decal on the entrance bumper,” he stated. “You had been Willie if you handed out.”
“Properly, that tells me why I noticed Willie,” Slim stated. “However what brought on the intense lights? They had been blinding.
“Oh wait, you understand what they are saying about seeing white lights if you’re dying,” Slim stated. “Possibly I’d kicked the bucket and was seeing the intense lights of the past. Good factor these paramedics had been there to tug me again from the precipice.”
“Truly Slim, the brightness you noticed turned out to be the fog lights from the pickup truck,” Barney defined. “In some way or one other, if you hit the bumper the foggers had been triggered. Might have been a brief within the wiring.”
“I do know one factor,” stated Slim. “My head hurts to beat the band. Are you able to ask the nurse to provide me some ache tablets?”
“It’s no surprise you’ve got a headache, what with the concussion you suffered,” Barney stated. “They stated it wasn’t a lot being hit by the Ranger because it was the again of your head slamming towards the pavement if you fell.”
“Properly, I intention to pursue the matter in court docket,” Slim stated. “I’m calling the Harm Line quickly as I get your accident report.”
Slim retains his nickname intact by operating frequently. Residents of Gopher Woods usually see him huffing and puffing alongside the village streets.
It was throughout one among his runs that he was on Maple Avenue crossing Elm with the inexperienced gentle in his favor. On the identical time, Tiny Mann, the WWE wannabe, was in his ‘86 Ranger turning proper off Maple onto Elm.
The results of the unplanned encounter was predictable. The best way Tiny’s truck flipped Slim was harking back to Haystack Calhoun tossing the Nice Bolo throughout the ring again within the day.
Solely distinction was, when Slim hit the pavement he didn’t bounce again up after shaking the cobwebs from his head, suggestive of a WWE wrestler. He simply lay there trying on the stars. Or, in his case, the intense gentle.
“I by no means noticed him coming,” Slim stated of the accident.
“That’s what Tiny informed me about you,” Barney responded.
“Properly, that’s the issue for us pedestrians,” Slim declared. “Drivers like Tiny don’t take note of us walkers and runners. Since we’re not a part of the driving public, it’s like we’re, at finest, non-entities. We would as effectively be invisible.
“Drivers like Tiny have a look at us foot vacationers as second-class residents,” Slim huffed. “He’s not prepared to permit us our rights. On this case, my right-of-way.
“I can’t rely the variety of occasions I’ve been about to cross a road, with the inexperienced gentle, and a automobile turns in entrance of me like I don’t exist. After which there are the drivers who wave for me to go on, like they’re giving up one thing. They may as effectively say, ‘I’ll allow you to go on since you’ve got the right-of-way, and I received’t run over you.’”
“I really feel your ache,” stated Barney. “Properly, not actually. However I do know drivers usually neglect to search for pedestrians, or they’re distracted by their ideas or their cellphones.”
“Possibly I’ll begin carrying a bullhorn after I’m operating to let folks know I’m passing via,” Slim stated. “Or possibly a siren.
“And earlier than you object, I’d solely use it for emergencies.”
Larry Penkava is a correspondent for The Courier-Tribune. Contact: 336-302-2189, email@example.com.